Dec 16, 2009

Waiting for my "Isaac"


Tears wet my pillow at night for the loneliness which gnaws at my heart.

I bleed thinking of the happiness which may never be mine 

And my heart so yearns to belong to someone…

Not anyone…

But the man my Father has chosen and blessed for me.

To have and to hold.

In sickness and in health.

Till death do us apart.

To be shrouded in the cloak of sacredness

Just as God intended.

For this I wait upon the Lord

In anticipation,

Some days in pain and in sorrow.

Days turn into nights and days again

Waiting for my Isaac.

Where is he?

When will he come?

When?

Dec 14, 2009

Pierced

Dec 10, 2009

The Secret Garden

Two Peices of a Jigsaw

Dec 9, 2009

Innocence scarred

Storms

The Gift of Salvation

Dec 8, 2009

I smile because she smiles...

For You I Will Smile

I wrote this poem reflecting on the actions of some of the dearest people I spend most of my life with. I understand I cannot change the actions of people. Only they can change themselves. People who are the closest to us and Jesus, are the people who hurt us the most. I understand people will always hurt us with their words and actions, but we who hold on to Him sincerely, who persevere in building relationships and not breaking them down will do our utmost to forgive and let go of those hurts, because we who understand the heart of God for people, understand that no matter what, people matter. 





Nov 30, 2009

My Savior, my friend - My Jesus… my All.

I will not go where Your Presence will not tread,

Watch my steps O Lord, the Lord Almighty

Who navigates the sun in the skies by day

And He Who sets the night alight with its starry hosts.

Guide my ways in the paths You have set out for me to follow in.

Let me not deviate from Your ways.

In the valleys, in the difficult terrain,

Let me shelter under the shadow of Your wings.

When I am parched, and have no strength to journey forward,

Toward the goal You have set for me to reach, Jesus be my strength.

It is to You I cling, my Lord, You alone are my crutch

You are the God from whence my help comes from

Every breath I draw in and let out will forever praise You,

My Savior, my friend - My Jesus… my All.

 

Nov 20, 2009

Here within in He.. with me

Nov 19, 2009

To You I Surrender All...

Nov 17, 2009

Let it go

Nov 10, 2009

Nothing can separate me from Him

He sees me in the place I have fallen.

He knows me where I am,

Even when I am  so faraway, He understands.

He understands the condition I am in, my mind, my heart...

My every thought.


Deep calls to deep - 

He knows me where I am.

Whether I am in the farthest place - 

He knows my name - yes, He knows me.


I am a city on a hill -

I am a mirror which reflects the light of God to a darkened world.

My significance comes from being a child of the Most High God.

I am my Beloved's and He is mine.

And nothing, not one single thing can

Separate me from Him.


Forgiven

"Forgiven..."

"You are forgiven...," He says.

But what do I do with Your forgiveness,

When all the damage is done?

"Walk away...," He whispers.. "Do not look back, do not return to it..."

But What about my guilt, what about my shame?

And simply he says...

"I have removed your iniquity, I have taken your shame and

I have wiped away your guilt...

You are forgiven, I have forgiven you."



Wash me

Crimson I stand before You,

Stained with the blood of my transgression.

Here lies my iniquity,

Looming ever large...

Who will save now, who will direct my path 

And hold my hand,

Through this darkened way?

Only You shadow me wherever I am.

Cleanse me, wash me and make me pure...

Only You can make me whiter than snow.

A Ballad To My Lord...

I wait for You
In the still of the morning
To hear Your gentle voice
Speak to the deepest place in me...
I wait for You,
To hear You say,
"I love you... you are mine".

How my soul yearns for You,
To draw close to You,
Until there is no room
Between Your heart and mine.

I wait for You in the heart of the day,
Through the grind of life.
To feel Your touch,
To revive, refresh and restore me,
To strengthen and uplift me
As the storms of life beat me down.


Surrender

Nov 9, 2009

My praise... eternally will be Yours

in Your footsteps will I tread

Jesus... my safest place to hide

This is not the way it is supposed to be

Nov 6, 2009

Another Day, Come

Nov 5, 2009

a day unwelcomed

Oct 30, 2009

Kiss the rain...

Oct 29, 2009

...under the bridge...

Empty words

Oct 28, 2009

PAPER BALL

Oct 23, 2009

Create in me a pure heart...

Oct 20, 2009

Beyond the grave

Oct 15, 2009

His mercies are new each morning...

Oct 13, 2009

Thank You

Emmanuel

Oct 12, 2009

Is it time to flee?

Oct 9, 2009

...if i were a butterfly

An Autumn's Day

Oct 5, 2009

Serendipity soiled....

Thank You


Dear Jesus, this day I just want to thank You for simply saving me.  Thank You mostly for this 'grace' I take for granted. The other day, I was told by a brother from another faith, about their god and what they need to do to receive good gifts from him, and in this lifetime because of human nature and it's inclination to sin, they would never receive their god's favour.

In contrast Father, You save us, give us salvation, and cleanse us everyday, so that we may enjoy Your beautiful Presence, You give us good gifts even when we don't deserve it. For taking Your grace for granted I am sorry.

But Father, even as You saved a sinner like me, I ask Father to save those who are caught up, pressed down, crushed by life's circumstances. Even when I did not know You, I see now You have always been with me, communicating with me, directing my path and I ask even thought people go about worshipping their gods, that You show Yourself to them, tlak with them, draw them to You as You drew me to You. I only ask in the name of Jesus, for I only believe the name of Jesus can accomplish all these... Amen.

Oct 2, 2009

Someone Somewhere Needs Jesus

Oct 1, 2009

A Letter From God, Especially To You

I have put this letter up before. It is not something I wrote. The words are so powerful. May God speak to you through this as He speaks  to me over and over again to me...
Beloved, I am aligning and shifting all you know…no more drifting… no more wondering… no more doubt and unbelief… no more will the fibres of your being be attached to your past… healing is to come to your house for you are My temple and I dwell in you. You are a house of God… a place where I dwell… a place I work in and through. I give you good gifts for you are a “GIFT”.
 
Yes, I am shifting – I am aligning all things meant for this day and time. I know your heart, and believe it or not, I have not judged it as harshly as you have a tendency to do at times. You have tried in some cases to follow all the rules, so to speak, and yet you remain in some of the same places within your own thinking and attitudes of times gone by. Freedom is closer and easier than you have imagined and I am in no way saying you are not successful or that you are in a place without merit. I am simply a giver of gifts… an ever increasing One with life to impart… life capable of raising you up to a whole new stature in the fullness of who I am (Ephesians 4:13).

Beloved, I care so much about you I want to remove every fibre down to the cellular level that keeps you from seeing Me when you look at your own self. Therefore, things must be realigned and you must have the same mind and attitude as I.  I say “Shift and be changed”. Yes, Beloved, I am changing everything. The plumb line is now being released. All is being brought into conformity with Me – being brought into conformity with My Word and you are no exception. What I give… I give to all. I give to whom so ever will.

Therefore, I often do things that surprise you because the natural tendency is to think the very opposite of good might happen. This is a result of too much negative thinking. Sometimes it happened because of wrong thinking you have participated in and you aren’t even aware that it is happening. Think on what is lovely, pure and upright and you will destroy negativity (Philippians 4:8). In spite of it all, what do I do? I do a “suddenly.” So try as you might, you cannot figure Me out You can only live a life of amazing discovery. What a prospect… what an exciting proposition.

Yes, you have the thoughts of and intents of My heart; but till I am a mysterious and Sovereign God. I do mysterious things in mystifying ways and I have come to mystify you…to baffle you with My amazing love. Many “suddenlys” will happen in the most unlikely places… in the most unlikely circumstances. I want you to be one looks for the silver lining… the mystery in all things. I am indeed mysterious but at the same time I reveal unsearchable things you know not (Jeremiah 33:3).

Open up, without reservation and let Me so what I do best. Don’t disregard My offer because you think you are doing poorly or dismiss it because you feel you’re fine and dandy. There is always room for more. I am the eternal overflowing, ever flowing God and I to give increase to you no matter what stage of growth you are in. change is coming and all must shift to a whole new level. Know this, revelation is coming. Beloved, the time has indeed come and your discernment will increase. You will notice with great sensitivity the minutest checks in your Spirit saying to go this way or not.

What do I require of you in this instance? I require obedience. Why? Obedience saves so much time and heartache. Yes, I can redeem the time and restore the years the locust has eaten and I do. However it would be best if it was not necessary for obedience is definitely better than sacrifice (I Samuel 15:22).
 
Enough wasted time… enough negativity… enough apathy…enough complacency… enough self-degradation… enough determining your future by looking ay your past… enough of fear and intimidation by the enemy. Beloved I say, “Enough is enough.” Time has come to not turn to the right of the left but focus on the one who covers you… covers us… take time says the Spirit of the Lord to be in My Presence and let me bring to remembrance Words long forgotten or one you have turned a deaf ear to and let Me resurrect discarded seeds of manifest destiny… all of those I love are sent to someone or another… the question is, “Who will obey and go? Who will arise and shine? Will it be you?” 
Prayer
Lord, may the fingerprint of Your beauty be stamped indelibly upon my heart, be visible for all to see. Help me be so in tune with You that others can experience signs and wonders out of intimate communion with one another. I choose to lay aside all encumbrances and embrace the truth… embrace the positive and follow in Your footsteps. I am the one who embraces the truth which is Your Word. I exercise my free will to follow You Lord and You alone. I disregard and break covenant with any words or men which disagree with who You say I am. I take inventory and discard what is of no value to my progress and I embrace… I clothe myself with the truth.

Lord, so many times I have found myself responding to others based on how I feel about myself at any given time. This happens when I have not been with You or in the Word. How I feel about myself often reflects on how I am with those I love… those I work with or go to church with. Help me to be aware when I am in the negative through pattern which leads to being critical of others. I do not want to justify my actions and behaviors. Instead, I want to be free to love not only others but to love my own self.

Holy Spirit I invite You to come and do a complete work in my heart. Show me any hidden thing having the power to affect my life in negative or critical ways. Expose any root which holds me patterns of weakness or wrong behavior. Therefore, today I receive Your impartation and revelation of love in its fullest degree and capacity. I receive love regardless of what I have done or not done. I receive it because You freely give it to me without measure or condition. It is Your love which motivates me to change… not rules and regulations. I will never be forsaken not will I be begging for bread when it comes to You. Root out all fear and fill me with love, power and a sound mind.

Lord, I submit myself to You completely in all areas of my life… financially, physically, emotionally, spiritually. I submit myself to You in my work, church, family, I receive the realignment of all that I am to be adjusted to Your purpose and plan for this hour and time. I confess all my hindrances… all ties and all aspects of my life tied to the past are now broken in the Name of Jesus. I am set free to embrace the purpose and calling of my life. You have filled me with good gifts and I am indeed a gift to the world around me.

Increase in me today according to Your will and purpose. Set my feet in a large place…on the rock of my salvation and cause my light to shine. I am this day rising up to my full stature in Christ. Today all things connected to my past which holds me in bondage or hostage are being removed. I am immersed and infused to my fullest cellular level by the Lord.

Lord change everything in my life and heart to line up with Your heart… with Your Word. Every good and perfect gift comes down from the Father. As a child of God, I am a recipient of good gifts. Therefore, I am asking for the seed today. I am asking for bread… bread to eat and seed to sow.

Help me to never put You in a box… in a box of my expectation. Many times I have expected the worst to happen. How silly this is when I focus on You and the Word. I have depended on my own thoughts from the soulish realms too many times. Therefore I choose to declare and end to my own ways of doing and thinking I am one who changes and shifts, all my unlikely places… all my “I cant’s figure it or You out places’… are becoming places of discovery, adventure and manifestations of my mysterious and Sovereign God. I open myself up and receive Your offer and in the process change comes and I will increase in You…

I declare I am one who hears Your voice and I do not follow another. I ask for wisdom and it is given to me liberally with great measure. Discernment is my constant companion as Your voice leads me in paths of righteousness. I am a hearer and doer of the Word, for I choose obedience over sacrifice.

My heart is consumed with the zeal of the Lord and waits on Him like the deer pants for water. All my fountains are in the Lord and I thirst no more as I worship in spirit and in truth. I hear the Shepherd’s voice. I do not listen to another. My ears are open to Him and my heart is not hardened to the voice of the Spirit. All the discarded dreams and seeds of promise are now being resurrected in this day and hour. I will obey and go. I will rise and shine for the glory of the Lord has come. I am Your obedient one.
Amen.

The Merciful One

Great is Your faithfulness... my Father, my Friend, my God.

I know Your mercies are new each day,

Tha You have plenty in store for me today.

And I thank You that You are my God, 

Who loves me despite my frailties and human weaknesses.

I am grateful I don't have to prove myself to You,

Or accomplish feats to receive Your approval.

Thank you that Your grace is available for me.

That Your love abounds for me.

There is no one as merciful as You my Jesus.

Sep 29, 2009

His eye is on the sparrow

Sep 23, 2009

Placebo

A placebo – this peace

Existing without reason.

Sugar coated placebos for the blind,  

For the mute, 

The deaf...

These who are crippled in their minds

The fools have forgotten, the truth.

The freshly buried. The white flags waving in the breeze. 

Or perhaps the truth scares them.

Today a bullet is the prize

For speaking the truth


Is this the peace these fools speak of?

In fact,

Who is it we are free from?

Sill in chains,

Still cornered.

Innocent blood shed - still

Perhaps the guns are silenced

Perhaps the terrorist are wiped out

But the terror grows.

Corruption at its root.

Power is misused.

Oppressing, crushing, pressing down, cornering,

Silencing...

The voice of truth


 

Sep 18, 2009

My praise belongs to You

Dear Father,

I thank You for this day,

I know everything I have planned could go wrong,

But I want You to know that it's ok, 

Because I know You are my God and

You have everything in the palm of Your hand.

Even If things go wrong God,

My praise will always be on my lips, Jesus, for You.

I love You.

Sep 7, 2009

A Prayer

Aug 24, 2009

Then walked in…


 

The other day, we met a child who calls You Father. He shared his life story with us.
He came to tell us how You showed up at he nick of time. He touched our hearts with what he said.
We felt his brokenness, as he spoke of his childhood - of a home broken by an alcoholic father and a mother who protected him, his brothers and sisters at all costs. It broke our hearts, because he seemed so innocent. Standing there with his eyes closed… Behind those closed eyelids, I am certain, were tears as he recalled the pain of losing his mother.
He spoke of how he rand away from home several times to escape being beaten up by his drunk father. How he spend nights under a bus stand. Being homeless and in want of a mother’s love and being sent away to live in a boy’s home.
We heard the pain in his voice as it broke when he recalled the times, the other boys’ mothers would visit and he would think to himself… if only… amma was here for me.

His pain was so real as he relived chapter by chapter of his excruciating memories and then he said With a twinkle in his eyes, then … Jesus walked in. His voice broke when he introduced You to us. It was a deep, the appreciation which rose from the deepest place in his heart for You.

In the midst of his turmoil…
The chaos of the uncertain ,
The pain of reality…
In the darkened void of his lonely heart …
he said with profound joy
Then walked in… Jesus.

Aug 21, 2009

Signs of the times

Aug 18, 2009

My Jonathan for every season... my Jesus


“After David had finished talking with Saul, 
Jonathan became one in spirit with David, 
And he loved him as himself.”
1 Samuel 18:1


Walking home from church one afternoon, I thought deeply of the friendship between Jonathan and David and envied David for having such a strong bond with Jonathan. The sermon last Sunday painted a beautiful picture in my mind about the friendships. Jonathan was an enormous strength to David when Saul was jealously pursuing to harm David. Despite his father’s evil intentions, Jonathan was a loyal friend to David until the very end of Jonathan’s life. 

A few weeks before this sermon, my heart and mind were weighed down by a friendship which over a couple of incidents were proving to be something which dragged my heart down to the depths of the deepest blue. My mind was feeling the strain and in the end I thought better am I, an island unto myself, than having to deal with the disappointment of yet another friend who had grown indifferent towards ‘our’ friendship almost overnight. 

While drowning in self pity, thoughts flooded into my mind, one after another. I was reminded of the incidents in the past, of friendships which had blossomed in unlikely places, through difficult circumstances… through trials. 

People who had appeared by my side to walk the dark corridors of the storms which beat me down. People who had come to give a shoulder to cry on, to lean on, to hold me up and bring me to my feet. Endearingly I heard my Father speak, ‘haven’t you also had friends like Jonathan in your life? in every season have I not provided someone to stand beside you?’
 
And it was the truth, as I flipped from one page to another in the book called my life. In every place from the farthest memory in my mind, through every storm, there has been a friend closer than a brother and the One Who provided all of them and more...  Who has never caused me pain, heartache or disappointments – Who has been a lifelong Friend. My Jonathan for every season… my Jesus.  

Aug 14, 2009

Weeding out the weeds

I glory in the empty cross…


The angel said to the women, "Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here; he has risen, just as he said.
Matthew 28:5, 6

I behold an empty cross far on a hillside. My heart does not weep for the Prophet whom the crowds say, died on that wretched cross centuries before my life was thought of. 

But my heart glories in my risen Lord. 

I look at the empty cross and reflect on the significance of what the empty cross means to me and I am overwhelmed with awe that God would consider me worthy to send His one righteous Child to die for me, to redeem the sinner I am. 

To give me salvation and eternity with Him, to give victory from my the things that chain me down, to give me healing in my wounds, to give me light when life cast its shadows over me, to walk with me through the corridors of every day life.
 
So I bow down before the Glorious One at the foot of the cross in complete adoration. In complete awe because this God whom I knew not, willingly sent His Son, to bear my sins, and die on a cross, so that I may have the privilege of knowing Him, live through Him, have a reason for life and a purpose to live.  

“There in the ground His body lay, light of the world by darkness slain… then bursting forth in glorious day up from the grave He rose again and as He stands in victory sin’s curse has lost its grip on me for I am His and He is mine bought with the precious blood of Christ.”

Aug 3, 2009

A prayer for today

Dear God

When I want to give up, encourage my heart to go further, to take another step. To persevere despite what is. Help me to focus on You God when the giants loom high above me. Encourage my heart even now to pursue the greater things in life. Do not move my obstacles Father, but give me the wisdom to face every single one as they come up ahead of me. Help me also to dwell on the things which stir your heart. For you are my Father and I am your child, You are my Shepherd and I will go wherever you lead me. Father In the places where I have put my hand on the plough, help me to remain committed. Refresh me. Rekindle the fire within my heart for your causes, for You. Whatever the terrain, I want to make it to the finish line. Help me walk forward. Give me strength in my heart to accomplish all things you have planned for me to, today. In your name Jesus, I ask. 


Amen

Goodbye is sometimes forever

Bigger than me

Jul 31, 2009

emptiness

Jul 27, 2009

a letter to God

Jul 24, 2009

Open Close

Jul 9, 2009

Salvation in no other name

Jul 8, 2009

Stepping Out of the Boat

Every day is about choice and placing God in the head of everything which goes on in our lives. It is an exhilarating experience - this plunge with Jesus, to trust my life into the palm of the most powerful God, knowing that when He takes my life on the journey He calls His will, it will be the most exciting adventure in the universe. 

Trust is not freefalling into nothingness. I heard one of the most challenging sermons this morning based on the Peter’s walk on water and I thought how apt for God speak to the situation in my heart. Last weekend a friend shared his life situation with me and it is a mighty big one. Every hour since, I groped for a solution in the dark. The need is paramount, beyond my capacity to help. Therefore I stumbled headlong into despair. Even as I write, I have no solution, but after battling it in my mind for what seemed like hours on end, I finally laid it on His altar and prayed to my heart’s content, leaving every thought of despair, helplessness and hopelessness there in the hand of God, where all impossibilities are possible. What peace swept over my heart thereafter.

Walking on water with Jesus requires first the choice of getting out of the boat, second – moving our focus from the waves, to the outstretched hand of God. Trusting God with our lives is a profound experience only a few of us dive into. It requires the knowledge that Jesus will keep up His end of the bargain: that He will see us through despite the overwhelming circumstance. Some of us may not live up to the full expectation of what God intends for our lives and some of us who want to live up to what God expects of us, need to, first...  step out of the boat.

“Faith is the first factor in a life devoted to service. Without it, nothing is possible. With it, nothing is impossible.”

Jul 3, 2009

The Gift of Freedom

Jul 2, 2009

Out of reach