A Testimony

For awhile my walk with my Best Friend has been strained. I have been in so many lows, some days I wonder whether I will ever go back to being normal again. It all happened one day last year when I chose to walk out of a circumstance – a relationship which mattered to me a great deal but ended up in wrecking me from within, wrecking my faith in God, and wrecking my heart. I did it to myself. The blame is my own.

My God met me in the eye of my storm and pulled me through and if I could narrate a blow by blow account of every torment I put myself through and every torment He pulled me out of, I would. But words are inadequate to express what He did for me in the days following the end of the relationship. From the first time I gave my life to the Lord nine years ago, up through till this present day, I can truly say God has never forsaken me, never left me alone to deal with the consequences of disobedience, even when I have proved to be faithless, God has been and is faithful.

I am thankful, extremely… for what God let me know in advance. 

He saved me from a lot more heartache than I actually I went through. 
But the pain beckoned, lapped at me every single day – beckoning me to take the plunge into complete misery… and I admit I did shift my focus from Jesus, one too many times, and I guess that’s how I acquired a foul taste along the way - a little bitterness, a little root of discord against the God who out of complete love for me said, ‘no, this is not for you.’

Once in awhile I heard my heart condemn myself and condemn God – I believed God had withheld, ignored me, kept me aside, rejected me, cast me aside… and I believed it and I fell and I stopped feeling and I became cold towards God.. and then I distanced myself from God.

Last night I cried and poured every single word and thought which pierced my heart. 

Later, while looking for a phone number, He led me to two documents …which left me breathless. One was a letter written to me from a dear friend years ago, during a time when I had disobeyed and walked away from God – a period like this, she told me how much God loved me despite the silences, despite what I was putting myself and God through and the other document is something I’m going to share with you.

To whomever is reading this… I want you to take heart… and I want you to read every word as if God Himself is speaking them to you. That is how I read it last night... Part of it is a prayer, God wants you to know… wherever you are, whoever you are, whatever you have done or not done… He loves you tenderly and His love for you will never change.

Beloved, I am aligning and shifting all you know…no more drifting… no more wondering… no more doubt and unbelief… no more will the fibres of your being be attached to your past… healing is to come to your house for you are My temple and I dwell in you. You are a house of God… a place where I dwell… a place I work in and through. I give you good gifts for you are a “GIFT”. 

Yes, I am shifting – I am aligning all things meant for this day and time. 
I know your heart, and I believe it or not, I have not judged it as harshly as you have a tendency to do at times. You have tried in some cases to follow all the rules, so to speak, and yet you remain in some of the same places within your own thinking and attitudes of times gone by. Freedom is closer and easier than you have imagines and I am in no way saying you are not successful or that you are in a place without merit. I am simply a giver of gifts… an ever increasing One with life to impart… life capable of raising you up to a whole new stature in the fullness of who I am (Ephesians 4:13).

Beloved, I care so much about you I want to remove every fibre down to the cellular level that keeps you from seeing Me when you look at your own self/ therefore, things must be realigned and you must have the same mind and attitude as I. I say “Shift and be changed”. Yes, Beloved, I am changing everything. The plumb line is now being released. All is being brought into conformity with Me – being brought into conformity with My Word and you are no exception. What I give… I give to all. I give to whom so ever will.

Therefore, I often do things that surprise you because the natural tendency is to think the very opposite of good might happen. This is a result of too much negative thinking. Sometimes it happened because of wrong thinking you have participated in and you aren’t even aware that it is happening. Think on what is lovely, pure and upright and you will destroy negativity (Philippians 4:8). In spite of it all, what do I do? I do a “suddenly.” So try as you might, you cannot figure Me out You can only live a life of amazing discovery. What a prospect… what an exciting proposition.

Yes, you have the thoughts of and intents of My heart; but till I am a mysterious and Sovereign God. I do mysterious things in mystifying ways and I have come to mystify you…to baffle you with My amazing love. Many “suddenly” will happen in the most unlikely places… in the most unlikely circumstances. I want you to be one looks for the silver lining… the mystery in all things. I am indeed mysterious but at the same time I reveal unsearchable things you know not (Jeremiah 33:3)

Open up, without reservation and let Me so what I do best. Don’t disregard My offer because you think you are doing poorly or dismiss it because you feel you’re fine and dandy. There is always room for more. I am the eternal overflowing, ever flowing God and I to give increase to you no matter what stage of growth you are in. change is coming and all must shift to a whole new level. Know this, revelation is coming. Beloved, the time has indeed come and your discernment will increase. You will notice with great sensitivity the minutest checks in your Spirit saying to go this way or not.

What do I require of you in this instance? I require obedience. Why? Obedience saves so much time and heartache. Yes, I can redeem the time and restore the years the locust has eaten and I do. However it would be best if it was not necessary for obedience is definitely better than sacrifice (I Samuel 15:22). 

Enough wasted time… enough negativity… enough apathy…enough complacency… enough self-degradation… enough determining your future by looking ay your past… enough of fear and intimidation by the enemy. Beloved I say, “Enough is enough.” Time has come to not turn to the right of the left but focus on the one who covers you… covers us… take time says the Spirit of the Lord to be in My Presence and let me bring to remembrance Words long forgotten or one you have turned a deaf ear to and let Me resurrect discarded seeds of manifest destiny… all of those I love are sent to someone or another… the question is, “Who will obey and go? Who will arise and shine? Will it be you?” 
Prayer
Lord, may the fingerprint of Your beauty be stamped indelibly upon my heart, be visible for all to see. Help me be so in tune with You that others can experience signs and wonders out of intimate communion with one another. I choose to lay aside all encumbrances and embrace the truth… embrace the positive and follow in Your footsteps. I am the one who embraces the truth which is Your Word. I exercise my free will to follow You Lord and You alone. I disregard and break covenant with any words or men which disagree with who You say I am. I take inventory and discard what is of no value to my progress and I embrace… I clothe myself with the truth.

Lord, so many times I have found myself responding to others based on how I fell about myself at any given time. This happens when I have not been with You or in the Word. How I feel about myself often reflects on how I am with those I love… those I work with or go to church with. Help me to be aware when I am in the negative through pattern which leads to being critical of others. I do not want to justify my actions and behaviors. Instead, I want to be free to love not only others but to love my own self.

Holy Spirit I invite You to come and do a complete work in my heart. Show me any hidden thing having the power to affect my life in negative or critical ways. Expose any root which holds me patterns of weakness or wring behavior. Therefore, today I receive Your impartation and revelation of love in its fullest degree and capacity. I receive love regardless of what I have done or not done. I receive it because You freely give it to me without measure or condition. It is Your love which motivates me to change… not rules and regulations. I will never be forsaken not will I be begging for bread when it comes to You. Root out all fear and fill me with love, power and a sound mind.

Lord, I submit myself to You completely in all areas of my life… financially, physically, emotionally, spiritually. I submit myself to You in my work, church, family, I receive the realignment of all that I am to be adjusted to Your purpose and plan for this hour and time. I confess all my hindrances… all ties and all aspects of my life tied to the past are now broken in the Name of Jesus. I am set free to embrace the purpose and calling of my life. You have filled me with good gifts and I am indeed a gift to the world around me.

Increase in me today according to Your will and purpose. Set my feet in a large place…on the rock of my salvation and cause my light to shine. I am this day rising up to my full stature in Christ. Today all things connected to my past which holds me in bondage or hostage are being removed. I am immersed and infused to my fullest cellular level by the Lord.

Lord change everything in my life and heart to line up with Your heart… with Your Word. Every good and perfect gift comes down from the Father. As a child of God, I am a recipient of good gifts. Therefore, I am asking for the seed today. I am asking for bread… bread to eat and seed to sow.

Help me to never put You in a box… in a box of my expectation. Many times I have expected the worst to happen. How silly this is when I focus on You and the Word. I have depended on my own thoughts from the soulish realms too many times. Therefore I choose to declare and end to my own ways of doing and thinking I am one who changes and shifts, all my unlikely places… all my “I cant’s figure it or You out places’… are becoming places of discovery, adventure and manifestations of my mysterious and Sovereign God. I open myself up and receive Your offer and in the process change comes and I will increase in You…

I declare I am one who hears Your voice and I do not follows another. I ask for wisdom and it is given to me liberally with great measure. Discernment is my constant companion as Your voice leads me in paths of righteousness. I am a hearer and doer of the Word, for I choose obedience over sacrifice.

My heart is consumes with the zeal of the Lord and waits on Him like the deer pants for water. All my fountains are in the Lord and I thirst no more as I worship in spirit and in truth. I hear the Shepherd’s voice. I do not listen to another. My ears are open to Him and my heart is not hardened to the voice of the Spirit. All the discarded dreams and seeds of promise are now being resurrected in this day and hour. I will obey and go. I will rise and shine for the glory of the Lord has come. I am Your obedient one. Amen.